i haven't been on this in a while...i almost forgot about it but i was trying to find a way to talk to my brother and i think this is the only way he'll see...well maybe not...i don't even know if he checks this anymore..but look Isaac i know things are bad right now and you feel like everythings going wrong and you have no one but thats not true...even if everyone and i mean everyone was gone in your life you would still have me...your the best big brother that anyone could ask for and nothing can change that... no one could take your place in my heart..and you know who i mean by that...i really do miss you and i look forward to seeing you this summer but i hope that i don't have to wait that long to see you...you can talk to me about anything...text me anytime you want....and if your ever feeling sad just know that i love you and im here for you.

Fights and Hunger

So we had a fight today. It was about smokes and feelings and a general disconnect between us. Lately I have been very hungry and very poor. Even though I got the job offer for more money than I could probably hope to earn with a Phd, I feel like if I take it, I will be merely settling and not really pursuing what I want. But I am having a hard time turning away the benefits that come with it.

Anyways, we fought. She yelled. I yelled. She cried. I felt like shit. I don't know what to do. Lately I have been just moseying on along, not really doing much but waiting on her to show an ounce of interest in me. I have been and am still waiting. She is busy and wrapped up in her own stuff and that is awesome, but I feel a little neglected and that our relationship is a little neglected. Its hard to explain. I know she is tired and stuff when she comes home and we really dont have much a place to cuddle (having no couch and all) but I don't really feel like she is making an effort.

I feel completely alone up here. I have nowhere to go when she has the car at work (not that it would get us anywhere anyway). I have nothing to do now that school and work are over. I just sit and think about how nice it would be to be able to eat something, which of course I cannot do since we have no food. I haven't had anything to eat yesterday or today and am probably suffering from hunger hallucinations but I guess I'll make it.

I hope you are having fun in Kansas and you are "keeping it real." I guess I'll go for now. I have a meeting with Jackie in the morning and I have a feeling she is going to be all over me about this job thing! Oh well...she'll have to deal. See ya!

Appointments and Procedings

Hey! that sucks you having to move in with grandma and stuff! How are you going to be getting back and forth to school?

My life has been pretty busy lately. I spent the day in the Indiana Prison today and met some really awesome prisoners! I had a great time and cant wait to get back there.

I was recently appointed to serve on the Council on Graduate Studies by the Dean of the Graduate School. I will also be serving on the Graduate Student Advisory Council (which is a lot like student government). Im really excited about the Council on Graduate Studies thing. It is a position reserved for the top graduate student at EIU! That means that I am at the top of my program and at the top of the Grad school too!! Its an awesome opportunity that I hope will lead to a full-time position at EIU after I graduate.

Dan called me today and him and becca are giving us a couch! So we will have some furniture in here soon. We just have to figure out a way to get it up here and we know we cant count on the parental unit to help us out any so we are just trying to figure that out right now.

I cant wait for you to get back here. I have started to look at adoption procedures and stuff so I can adopt you and get you out of that negative environment where you guys are bouncing around from place to place with no consideration to what is in your best interests. Ill let you know how that goes.

That is my life in a nutshell for now I guess. We are looking forward to our Disney trip in 40 days! I cant wait to get a vacation. I have so many meetings coming up in the next few weeks that I think my head will explode from trying to keep them all straight! Be good and ill see you soon. Keep me posted.

well you should tell him your little sister loves him and wants one hehe or another pantech
and the date..we just walked :) it was ahhmazing and i'll tell you about it later i'm sure your not that bored i'll be up there soon...did mom tell you what they're doing? were moving in with grandma for like a month i hate it sooo much but tell me more about your exciting life :) bye for now

boredom and dog sitting

I have been dog sitting all day at my professors house and have found myself less than motivated to get any work done. Her ac was being worked on all day and I was having trouble reading so I have been watching House all day. Its not bad though. Now that the ac is back up and running, it is starting to cool off a bit in here.

I have one more class this weekend and then I am done with school for the summer!!! I am done moving out of my old place and have it all cleaned and spotless! I even got the vacuum over to the new apt and got to sweep the carpet, making it look 150% better. I have been bored all week though since Aub and Kris are gone. I haven't been able to keep myself occupied since I don't really like driving the car around, afraid it will die on me.

So for now, I sit and stare at the walls of my furniture-less apt, wandering aimlessly through the rooms looking for something (I'm not sure what exactly). Oh well... Such is life I guess.

iphone

Well...im not sure what he is doing with his iphone yet. I don't know what I think of you going on this date with this boy. I don't like the idea. Where did you go? Did he drive?

you should tell dan to give me his Iphone! hehe that all sounds exciting! but i have even better news! i had a date with Chris yesterday! :) and it was ahhmazing if i may say so! :) hehe im glad you put that candle thing up in the bathroom! :) its like four in the moring so i really don't know what to put hehe so this is goodbye for now Isaac! but really tell dan to uhh hand over that i phone hehe jk