Fights and Hunger

So we had a fight today. It was about smokes and feelings and a general disconnect between us. Lately I have been very hungry and very poor. Even though I got the job offer for more money than I could probably hope to earn with a Phd, I feel like if I take it, I will be merely settling and not really pursuing what I want. But I am having a hard time turning away the benefits that come with it.

Anyways, we fought. She yelled. I yelled. She cried. I felt like shit. I don't know what to do. Lately I have been just moseying on along, not really doing much but waiting on her to show an ounce of interest in me. I have been and am still waiting. She is busy and wrapped up in her own stuff and that is awesome, but I feel a little neglected and that our relationship is a little neglected. Its hard to explain. I know she is tired and stuff when she comes home and we really dont have much a place to cuddle (having no couch and all) but I don't really feel like she is making an effort.

I feel completely alone up here. I have nowhere to go when she has the car at work (not that it would get us anywhere anyway). I have nothing to do now that school and work are over. I just sit and think about how nice it would be to be able to eat something, which of course I cannot do since we have no food. I haven't had anything to eat yesterday or today and am probably suffering from hunger hallucinations but I guess I'll make it.

I hope you are having fun in Kansas and you are "keeping it real." I guess I'll go for now. I have a meeting with Jackie in the morning and I have a feeling she is going to be all over me about this job thing! Oh well...she'll have to deal. See ya!